Volume, Vol. 2

Spouse & I are still trying to find a church that won't cause our ears to bleed.

I googled churches in my city. Friends Christian Fellowship was on the list. They didn't have a Web site.

So, a little research. There are four general flavors of Friends (aka Quaker) churches. Think of a 2x2 matrix: Liberal (similar to Unitarian Universalists) vs Conservative ("Christ-centered"), and unstructured vs structured.

Unstructured... Hmmm... If you're sitting silently waiting for God to speak to you and/or prod you to speak, then you probably don't have a rock band blasting you at 120 decibels.

Unstructured conservative would probably be perfect for us. And there are lots of these. In places like Pennsylvania.

The church here in town had no Web site. Odds were, though, since CA is a ways away from Pennsylvania, this wouldn't be an unstructured conservative service. But, if they're too small to have a Web site, maybe they're too small to have a rock band. Or, at least too small to afford big amplifiers.

So, we went.

This was an Evangelical Friends church. Going back to that 2x2 matrix, that would be conservative & structured.

Well, I was wrong about them being too small for a rock band. They were small, alright. I counted about 30 adults. But, they had the rock band.

The good news is, they do have a sound level meter. And, they claim to try to keep it at or under 90.

In fact, decibels ranged from 85 to 99, and that was with the drummer missing.

This may be as good as its going to get for us.

Meanwhile, Spouse & I are certainly not alone in our concern for aural safety at church. Others, including Nephew 1.0 and our friend Grant report that their churches are too loud. And,the Neph isn't an old fogey like us. Nor is it some weird California phenomenon. The nephew's church is in Wisconsin.

Maybe I really should consider going back for an M.Div. and starting my own church. The problem is, almost any seminary is going to require attendance at chapel services. Where they'll probably have rock bands.